My lips are sealed...but my fingers aren't!

For some reason I can't sleep.

My mind won't quit going.

It’s like the damn energizer bunny.

I know why it keeps going but I wish that wasn't the case.

I can't handle that it right now.

And I know that person can't handle it at the moment.

They are going through a lot of stuff.

And I was too but I'm over it now.

I don't know.

I don't even know why I'm typing all this junk.

They aren't going to read it and be like: oh yes!! I feel the same way!

No they would be like: now isn't the time for this.

And I agree.

I couldn't handle hurting this person.

I couldn't handle being the reason why they don't open up to me anymore.

I couldn't handle not talking to them everyday.

I would hate myself.

I have so much love for this person.

I would literally try everything in my power, my reach, my ability, my soul to make them happy again.

To make them truly happy.

I know they say they are happy but I can tell there is a piece of their heart that is still missing.

I know I could never fill that piece.

I know I could never replace it.

I know I could never be what she was.

I know I could never change what she did.

I know that I am crazy for the way that I feel.

It is crazy.

I know that.

I really do.

But what am I suppose to do?

What can I do?

I don't have the answer.

No one does.

I don't want this person to think that they have to feel the same way.

They don’t.

They don't have to act on anything that I say here.

I don't want them to think that I'm pushing them.

I’m not.

I just want them to know I care.

A lot.

A lot lot.

And I can't help it.

I said that my head, my brain, controls everything.

But for some reason it isn’t.

It is being over turned.

I try not to listen, because it will only bring problems.

Problems I don't want.

I don't want to change the amazing way we are together as friends, as support to one another, but I just feel if I say something it will.

What in the hell am I going to do.

I can't keep it in.

Lord help me!

Goodnight.