For some reason I can't sleep.
My mind won't quit going.
It’s like the damn energizer bunny.
I know why it keeps going but I wish that wasn't the case.
I can't handle that it right now.
And I know that person can't handle it at the moment.
They are going through a lot of stuff.
And I was too but I'm over it now.
I don't know.
I don't even know why I'm typing all this junk.
They aren't going to read it and be like: oh yes!! I feel the same way!
No they would be like: now isn't the time for this.
And I agree.
I couldn't handle hurting this person.
I couldn't handle being the reason why they don't open up to me anymore.
I couldn't handle not talking to them everyday.
I would hate myself.
I have so much love for this person.
I would literally try everything in my power, my reach, my ability, my soul to make them happy again.
To make them truly happy.
I know they say they are happy but I can tell there is a piece of their heart that is still missing.
I know I could never fill that piece.
I know I could never replace it.
I know I could never be what she was.
I know I could never change what she did.
I know that I am crazy for the way that I feel.
It is crazy.
I know that.
I really do.
But what am I suppose to do?
What can I do?
I don't have the answer.
No one does.
I don't want this person to think that they have to feel the same way.
They don’t.
They don't have to act on anything that I say here.
I don't want them to think that I'm pushing them.
I’m not.
I just want them to know I care.
A lot.
A lot lot.
And I can't help it.
I said that my head, my brain, controls everything.
But for some reason it isn’t.
It is being over turned.
I try not to listen, because it will only bring problems.
Problems I don't want.
I don't want to change the amazing way we are together as friends, as support to one another, but I just feel if I say something it will.
What in the hell am I going to do.
I can't keep it in.
Lord help me!
Goodnight.
